Curious Hideout

Listening to music which eases my soul now becomes pathetic because of every song I listen, there are…you…of everything I do, I see you… In the morning preparing breakfast for myself there I go tossing some sausages…and as I tossed, I remember the days were I use to prepare breakfast for you… Isn’t that a silly thing to think?.... I open a book to read and there I go thinking about how I use to neglect reading it and went jovially to see you… I walk down my stairs…and there I see myself carrying you on my back going up the stairs…laughing all the way up… And many dozen things I do…YOU pop into my mind… It isn’t a bad thing nor a good thing…coz happy memories were all I thought about…but those happy memories aren’t that happy went I am here all alone and grieving my way through life… From opening a door knob, to devouring my favorite meal, from walking down a street, to sleeping in my bed…there…there you are…haunting my life… From taking money out of my wallet, to watching tv…looking at...

What have I done? To make you hate me? If not so, then why u speak, Of words that hurt me? What has happen to times? We smile out from our hearts, Where has those moments gone to? Not that I could not let go, But words and actions you do, Sometimes hot and sometimes cold, It hurts me badly to keep on guessing. Are you hot or just plain cool? A character of two, that continues to confuse… So let it be…only a character that exists… Let it be...as cold as can be...

Why am I so immature? Why aren’t I strong? I should be strong, For more obstacles awaits me, But I fail to be, Just as strong as I thought I could be. Words you spoke to me, Secrets that u told me, Things only we know, I always wonder, in my mind, Have you told another? Have you let it spread? Have you add black dots? In those words I spoke? In those actions I act, Have u talk of false gestures? Have you? I just wonder… A wonder......a thought……that kills me slowly…

My heart pounding each time i think of you, Beats so hard till is hurts so much, My Lips can't stop, chattering your name, And my mind wont stop, wondering about you. People running away from me, Avoiding the mouth i speak, The words i talked out, Nothing but S.U.S.A.N. S.U.S.A.N. Continiously i suffer, Suffer because of the pain u brought me, Why so much sorrow? All because of S.U.S.A.N. I wonder why i still think of you? I want no more of you but only a sincere friendship...and yet i continue to be so aware of your presence... I noe you have move on, and i do not expect u to be left behind...i do not want to hooked u back, but to let u go n b the person u want to be...be it that u r turning good or the other side...No more can i control u n tell u what to do...no more i want to be like a fool..for you... But yet i grant a sincere blessing to whomever you are with right now...never i hope for the worst to happen to you, my sis...understand that i have lost a part of me...and cou...

have i let it come back? have i let that feeling stir in my fragile heart? have i allow all that suffering to conquer my soul? Has it come back? Once again, i let myself hurt, Let myself feel for the person who hurt me, I am a fool who does not let go of the past, A fool to let you walked past through my life. Hate i feel, at the same time i love, Hate to all did to me, Be it your ways were noble or not, Hate is just i feel as this feeling comes back.

Free! Hiding in the dark, In a room so bare, But only me who sits down there. I jumped into daylight, to start my day, Gather all my strenght, to fight through every barrier. Face up to every ups & downs, to let myself enjoy every single laughter, & to get myself away from frown, Joyous i am to be...free!

Hello people who reads this blog, i am opening a new blog which is D' side=www.nottymike.blogspot.com do feel free to check it out! Coz i will leave this blog to only writing poetric stuffs... N the new blog, will be MY BLOG... so check out the new blog k? thx

Arise... Teachers are now frustrated, While students are just drifting away, Be it a smart student, or a weak one, Everyone is just plain lost. Each and everyone finding their way back, Trying to figure what’s the next step? Struggling to fight laziness, Enjoying each moment that passes. People! Wake up! Let’s move forward, Do not let temptation drive us away, Let us all be strong for this few months only. -this poem is specified to me...n to those who face the same problems

Drift... Drift away to wondrland, Goung further and further, But was pulled back to face reality, To stand up and not hide. Wake up, do not sleep, my friend, Wake up and see, That there are still so many to be done, Do not continue to dream but rise up. Do not go further into darkness, Cast your eyes on the light in front, Run towards it and if u fall, Stand up my friend and continue to longed for the light.

Fooled Felt like being betrayed by someone you entirely trust on. I let myself loose, letting her come to my life without any resistance. Pouring out every single drop of love to her. How foolish of me… There wasn’t a wall that exists, not even a stone at our way. I’ve poured too much, and did not leave any room for “emergencies”. I did not leave any space for me to heal myself when being hurt. How foolish of me… Thinking that, I will be okay and nothing would go wrong…I let myself love with all my might, with all my strength…I love. Ha…people you are thinking that I’ve not let go..but actually I did…I am joyful and cheerful back to my own ME…REJOICE! In my last post ‘I Finally Understand’, I finally realize…I finally made it through. Thx a million to all my friends who stood by me… those whom I know, friends who never gave up on me…friends who tot they contribute a little, but actually helped a lot…thank you… You people have cheered my day up even with just a smile u provided me… You...

i finaly understand... i come back to my cosy home... i took my shower n stood there-naked... i tot......n i tot hard...... i Finally RealizE. I am miserable bcoz i dun have sumwhere to belong to... Yes, i have friends that i can look to...But there isn't that bond between us...there isn't tat 'really good friend' feel...for example, there r many things v r not 'kap' in many sense... I have lots of friends that care for me...but they have their own budddies as well too... I can't go breaking their friendship up rite? there is no way i go into their lifes just like tat...it just isnt rite... My best bud isn't by my side...and i am not by hers as well... I am sure that during this period of time...we hav changed a lot... I am so afraid that we might not understand each other anymore--by the time she gets back... Here i am crying... Crying for a new friend... Crying to be belonged... Crying not to be lonely... I LOST ONE gud fren that i tot would LAST till ...

My mind is goin cuckoo from all d screaming from dear mum… Her ‘mental disease’ is back to haunt me… From now onwards till SPM I will not be getting any rest or a silent moment for myself… I won’t be able to read… I won’t be able to sleep… I won’t be able to think… I won’t be able to be happy!!! For every second n minute, I have to be attentive to what she says…if not she might burst into flames…if not her then me… I purposely go home late… I purposely hinder from all my shame… I purposely try to fake… I purposely runaway… I never want to be at home at this time of moment each time she goes nuts…I try to find a place to go…but where to when there is loads to be done? But where to when u r force to face reality that ur close sis has left you n ur close friend is a million miles away…I don’t tend to disturb my friend in Subang who is in quarantine, n she is also in her deep down mood of her own... All I want is to focus on my studies… But all this things happens so fast...I just need mor...

BarrierS... First we went over a road full with pebbles, That hurt our feet when we walk on, Then we move up higher, to a stream full of rocks, That almost stops us from going on, All we want was to see the scene on top, So we move and kept going on, Till the end we reach our spot, It was worth it that we didn’t stop. See my dear; I am sure we can make it through, We’ve conquer almost all that came by our way, Why give up and let our relation end? Let’s fight through the very end.

SIdeWalK... We come up to each other, at the sidewalk, We slightly look at each other, nor do we talk, Not even a stare, not even a smile, nor a cheer, Why has it all turn out like this…this I fear. I am strong, I have to be, Why can’t you be, just as strong as me? Let’s go through this, This barrier we see. Let us all set free, Both our minds and heart, Let everything be as normal as can be, I am sure it is not that hard.