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My mind is goin cuckoo from all d screaming from dear mum…

Her ‘mental disease’ is back to haunt me…
From now onwards till SPM I will not be getting any rest or a silent moment for myself…
I won’t be able to read…
I won’t be able to sleep…
I won’t be able to think…
I won’t be able to be happy!!!

For every second n minute, I have to be attentive to what she says…if not she might burst into flames…if not her then me…

I purposely go home late…
I purposely hinder from all my shame…
I purposely try to fake…
I purposely runaway…

I never want to be at home at this time of moment each time she goes nuts…I try to find a place to go…but where to when there is loads to be done?
But where to when u r force to face reality that ur close sis has left you n ur close friend is a million miles away…I don’t tend to disturb my friend in Subang who is in quarantine, n she is also in her deep down mood of her own...

All I want is to focus on my studies…
But all this things happens so fast...I just need more time to swallow…

Besides, I become even lazier because I am so USED to being lazy…
How to cope all this frustration at one time?
How to cope my laziness I apply?
How to stop all unwanted things from happening?
How that is how?

So many question in this small heart of mine…
So many to ask, so many to solve,
in this ‘2nd hand heart’ of mine…replace, time after time
After once being broken till it can’t function…

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