Curious Hideout

Weaker and weaker I turned to, My confidence soon turns to failure, All that I have becomes less, Never satisfied is what you made me. All that I have, isn’t appreciated, But to capture even more, More of the world, Slowly forgetting what pride means. So unsatisfied, Things of the world, Could not feed my hunger, What does my heart really wants, Finally things I longed, Is just at my doorstep, How long would it last I wonder, Will I finally be satisfied? Things of the world, I summoned you!

In a box full of apples, Yet there’s one that is rotten, One bad apple spoils the others, The box of apple brings joy into my heart, Each of it special in every way, Each of it was wonderful to devour. Yet there’s one bad apple, This continues to decay. Bit it by mistake, Slowly I am falling to the ground, A bright light appears, Soon death will come to redeem me. From where words come from, Blood comes dripping drop by drop, Drown in it, My once blank mind is overflow with flashes of pictures, Illusions from the very moment I bit it. For once I thought I might never get up, Cause of the disgust I feel for you, A sense I could not control, When you were not to be seen, I longed for you every minute, But once your presence is near, All I do is to be disgust even more, See that I could not forgive, Though how much I want to, Nothing you do will change, Just memories to last, And in reality, to hate the person in my fantasies.

Come on move on, Forget it, it’s the least, You want to think of. Half a year have past, That cut continue to last, No matter how I move on, Go on and restart the whole game, You will continue to haunt me, Go on---damn it, act in your play, I will no longer be a part of it, Nor will I be an audience of it. Go on with your lies and tricks, Deceived by an innocent act, Go on---don’t come back, You will never be welcome, For I have found true friendship, That I will throughly appreciate.

I do not want to commit this any longer, I do not want to fake this, Do not want to continue to act like a fool, Do not want that hole n your heart to grow bigger. To go and hurt a gentle heart, Never would I want anyone else, Suffer the same way I do, I am sorry for the things I did to you. For the pain I struggle, Is too much to endure, A soul like yours; will never, Be able to take it. I do not pray for the worst, Therefore I can’t go on like this no more, Never for me to share my love, But just to continue to hate myself. I am happy that you provide so much for me, Yet I have to say sorry, That I am not worthy of it, I am sorry dear, but I have to say, I don’t feel as much as you do, for me.

as stars continue to shine, so is my love for you, while birds sing in the sky, i will hold your hand tight, and bring you to the highest mountain there is to be, there we sit, till the sun goes down. i'll dive into the deepest ocean, just to get the pearl of your dreams, and swin the largest sea, to just cross over to you. fly up hig in the sky, and pluck a star for you, to see you smile is, all i ask for. for you to be happy, is enough for me, so tell me baby, just what to do to make you happy? to give up my future, i did for you, my pride, my dignity, my all, i throw away. all to do to please you, was it not enough? wasn't it what you ask for? was it just...wrong... i will never know your deep dark side, funny, that is after all this time, there is no way i could not see clear, i had to fall into your trap. in the end i see, it really wasn't enough, whether it was worth it? this i am still confuse.

So long time have past, And yet I wonder about you all this while, Why do have to leave me hanging? On the side of the cliff I held on. Just push me hard aside, Why so gentle towards break up, And your lies I treat as precious, Every single thing I believe were so true. And yet, no matter how perfect it was, Black dots begin to appear, I am sorry that I was not your cup of tea, But why kept on adding sugar to it? It became too sweet till it can’t be drunk, Till you have to vomit it out, The stain you left was never wipe away, It continue to stink till this very day. I am happy for you, For you found the one, Yet my bruise still hurts, It did not heal till today. Day after day person is added, And the wound continues to decay, Rotten and will not be heal, Time was my medication, and yet did not work, I seek extra dose of friendship, But no where to be found, I look to a new relationship, But have not the heart to go on. To break her heart…