Curious Hideout

Magic dust and sparkling stars, Time stops and everything freezes, Just like in fairytales, You’re here beside me. White snow covering all around, A ring on your finger and mine, And there’s no one around, Will you be mine? Little star came flying down, Beside me it lay twinkling, Little star whisper at my ears, You’re not alone, I am here. They came in two, Eyes close when their mouth touches, One for me, and one for you, Will your eyes close if I kiss you? Just by walking into my room, Just by breathing I could feel your presence, When I wake up, I see a cake that last forever. Is this all a dream, a fairytale? ~xin~

Air is still air for us to breathe, But why is it hard for me, To breathe the air everyone breathes, To live like everyone lives. Tears are still tears for us to cry, I envy those who could just cry, For nothing flows down my cheek, It’s only my heart that bleeds. To hold you is still a fantasy, Could I even touch you? For if I look into your eyes deeper, I know I can’t pull back any further. No, not this way do I want to live, Nor do I want to leave, No, not in the middle I want to be, Left here hanging like a thread. ~xin~

Here is where I hide, Behind those trees, I keep myself shade, Bury how I truly feel. I come back, Just so that you’ll not be alone, In your grey world, You’ll hurt yourself so much. My eyes can’t bear to see you cry, It can’t take it how much you’ve hurt. I tried to go away, Tried to just let you sort it out, Yet still I can’t see you fall, And get up all by yourself. Won’t you let me lead you? Out of darkness we will go, To a brighter place for you to shine, Until you don’t need me no more. ~xin~

Here I go again, Coming here always, To see if you’re here, To where my heart lays, Here I come again, Writing and writing, On notes, on books, For feelings that are trap within. Overwhelmed by you, A force that inspires, These hands to keep writing, This heart to keep singing. Just a thought of you, A millions words I can’t describe, Yet just a thought of you, Could easily make me smile. ~xin~

I rather not know, Deep inside how u really feel. As two hearts beat together, They still could not hold each other, No, this is not the movies, Let’s create our own story? It hurts so much right now, To see you cry in the corner, My hands, they reach for you, Come, hold my hand. Don’t be afraid, we won’t be the same, Let’s see the world we make, We’ll only laugh till we die, And I promise your tears will dry. A promise I can only make, If only you are here. ~xin~

The star around me shines when you’re around, If you walk out, I know I will cry. Could you see, in the night, Nothing shines brighter than you. As the clouds pass by, I still could only see you. Could you see, you’re my light, The only one that can lead me, And there’s nothing more, That I could wish for. But no, it’s not like that, In the end, night and day have to say goodbye. Night comes after day, And day comes after night, They will always be, side by side, They don’t say goodbye. ~xin~

Has this been the love? That had been missing, For so long it has gone, And yet now it appears. I am so afraid if I am wrong, For I am no longer so strong, For I will love you so much again, And if I get hurt, could I stand again? I don’t care how the end would be, I just see your smile so sweet, And all my sorrow is gone, I don’t feel pain anymore. Would you stay? And be the cure to my heartache, ~xin~

I have a letter here I kept for you, A piece that stayed here with me, A piece that I dare not give you, Staying silent as long as can be. And when I have the courage, Your heart will hold these words, And when you see this, I hope it’s me you’re thinking of. Just by words, I may take your heart away, But let me take you somewhere, To a place only we know. Words and alphabets alone, Will not prove anything, Let me show you, How wonderful you are to me. You are the star I see, The light that leads, The shine that comforts, The twinkle that blinks. For if one day you don’t shine, And if you shall fall from the sky, Don’t you fear, don’t you cry, Coz I am here, I won’t let you cry. I’ll stay and fix your smile, I will gather from a thousand miles, And borrow from the moon, a bit of light. Just to make you shinning bright. Look deep in your starry heart, Is it me sitting inside? Knocking on the walls of your heart, Will you open the door, let m

I did not find you, But you came shinning above me, As I look up, you’re there, Smiling at me. You shine, Through my darkest hour, Brought light to me, Brought me up that tower. Under the roof I stay, Hiding from its radiance, I should not look outside, But my legs move to the window. I love to see, That star up above me, Shinning ever so brightly, To me ever so calmly. I did not have to look, Didn’t have to seek, It was here all along, The clouds just hide it. Star stay in the sky, Every night it shines, I’ll open my wings and fly, For my heart to be align. ~xin~

Where is my heart? Has it gone to hide? Gone to somewhere so far, Some place I can’t find. You’re not here, And so is my heart, Heart, don’t go away, Heart, please stay. I wonder if you feel, The same way I feel for you, I wonder of its real, On the same time we speak the same thing. Every hour spent together, Lives within my heart, Just she and I together, Like it was meant to be. ~xin~

I’m not perfect, As your eyes may see, I’m just a boy, Asking for love. I keep falling, Down is where I go, When I am out calling, I still can’t find what I am looking for. Hope seems hopeless, For this broken heart, It just lay there, To guide another broken heart. When I stop looking, This angel came to me, Washing away my scars, Restoring me from within. I am not worthy of, To find love like yours. Why did hope appear? Just at my doorstep, Never will I think, Someone like you’ll walk in. Can’t believe that you’re here… ~xin~

In this room I feel so hollow, There’s a burden that lies, A brightness shine through my window, Its radiance caught my heart, Looking through my window, A little star sat on a tree nearby, Sparkling, it made me wanna know, How would it be in these hands of mine? Tenderly, I held my fingers to it, Anxious, it did not run away, Softly, I grasp hold of it, Surrendering everything in between. Little star in my hands, I want to hold you dearly, Little star in these hands, Beside my chest you lay. Don’t dimmed away, You’re all I been looking for, I won’t let u fade, Coz in my heart you’ll stay. ~xin~

I don’t wanna run away, Especially not away from you, I just wanna stay, And be here always for you. But all I need is time, Is it me the one for you? All I need is time, For me to prove it, it’s true. Don’t rush in, Look into your heart, Is it me, there inside? The one you see at night. You’re embedded here, In my heart u stay, Your face appear, Each time I close my eyes. ~xin~

I need to lay the bricks down, One piece by one piece, Carefully to make it stand, Steadily without me, it shall endure. I’ve done my job, To make it complete, But I can’t bear it any longer, The sun faded my strength. As the brown leaves fall, Brick by brick I still lay, But as harsh wind blows, The storm swept me away. As rain drop falls, I shelter it from drenched, And so I keep laying, But it was just bricks I laid. Small young bricks, Not heated evenly in ovens, It could not withstand, Even how well I lay. It all comes crushing on me, Damaged, I am weaken, All that’s left are crumbles, Not the wall I vision to see.

I can’t help but fall deeper, As each day passes, I can’t resist you any longer, I just can’t keep focus. I try to walk away, I try to close the door, Yet the door sways, Slightly ajar for me to peek. I can’t help but thinking, Of you each day, each moment, Each night, each minute, What is this I am feeling? In my mind you stay, Yet I struggle each day, Battling u from every way, Just to stop this right away. ~xin~

Falling for you, Even if I don’t know you. At the valley I stood, Near the shore you stand, To walk to you I would, Between sea and land a Gate stands. At the valley I look, Close to where you are, Nearer to you I would, Just to be where you are. At the shore you would be, Throwing pebbles into the sea, To see you smile, My heart could easily set free. I want to know you more, And then I have to step back, The shore I can’t step onto, It’s not meant to be. If only, If only, I could wipe away your tears, With arms wide open, A caring friend by your side, To be where you are without fear. A friend. ~xin~

Walking along side terraces, A walk that seems endless, There I saw you, Sitting on the bench in silence. Thoughts playing in your mind, You’ll be there sitting, In a place no one could find, Alone you bear nothing. A step closer my foot moves, A smile I put up for you, Politely your lips curve upwards, Clouds clear for me and you. Looking at cars pass by, I’ll soon count my way to you, Gazing at the sun above, Truly melts my heart. Blood keep pumping, My heart can’t stop beating, A step forward, A step backwards, On crossroads I stand, Left or right will I go? ~xin~

Each second, each minute, each hour, My mind couldn’t stop thinking, Of you and I together, Of you and I in wonder. Each time as night falls in, The feeling lingers deeper, And each time as day crawls out, I wish I’d be better. I want to hold you dearly, In my arms you’ll be safe again, Yet you close the door, No more will I see you again. I miss you so much.

I really want you to know, That in me only exist you. I scout for bury treasure, High and low I wonder. Where to unearth I’m not sure, But I’ll do anything to find her. I bleed and sweat, But nothing appeared, Only stones and rocks, This was what I feared. I rest my head upon a rock, no longer finding, Gaze up the sky with diamonds shinning, And the pearl moon gleaming, Your smile emerges while I was dreaming. You are my treasure that I seek, My gold, diamond, and silver, Please don’t go I plead, You’re all I ever wanted.  

If I only I could, Dug deep enough, There I wouldn’t, Left you in the cold. When I look through her eyes, I wish it was yours instead, And when I hold her hands, I wish I never hold it before. The days we had together, I won’t let you alone to cherish, I’ll always be here now, I will not let you perish. Won’t let sorrows fill your skies, Cause I’ll send rainbows and sunlight, Catch hold of every single moment, And I won’t say goodbye. This was me…and this will be me. No jokes, nor games… No more lies, just the truth, Let’s walk this road again?

i am, S urrender myself O nce is e nough R eally won't repeat it R ub away the past Y earn for forgiveness. forgiveness is all it takes, i may destroy what we build, and saying sorry won't change it, but i'll make it up to you. we had it, but i threw it away, i thought i had nothing, but you were everything, i just could not see it. i saw u become strong, i saw you shine, while i grew dimmed. and shimmer softly. ..........................

all remains silent, As shadows meets light, Images bouncing off screen, As we use eyes for sight. Side by side, we sat together, In a room where no one’s there, Realize your present ain’t just a dream, But a solid body and soul next to me. Never thought this could be, As what the eyes sees, Is as real as u are to me, A fable story coming true. If reading could bring characters to life, Would loving bring you to me, To think that actually it is so effortless, Yet just by loving, you could not see. See that I am here, See that I can give you my all, See that I rather hurt myself than you, See that it is not game.

i made it, made a fool out of misery, misery out of waiting, waiting in fantasy. to hold on, on you i do, like sand in my palm, blown away with the wind, off it scatters to the sea, just like you away from me.

maybe a lie would heal, this heart that beats, maybe a chance would cure, this wound that leaks. not to try, is to let this go, not to hurt, is impossible though. just lie to me, i want u to lie to me, i rather let this be, a lie for me to see. to walk on air, to dream of you, just a dream i dream, nothing seems to be fair. if time was on our side, if place was on our side, if i was on your side, will i be that hero?

as other birds fly around, up above my head singing, a melodious tune to me, comfort always seem tempting. as they come lingering near, so that's what i hear, no, i am not here, i've gone to find you. shoo..go away birdies, near those morning glories, i see you shinning, to me so brightly. nothing compares to you now, not even the sun that shines, and as you're still here, that's who my heart sees. hindering other temptation, to keep the heart lock.

could i fall too hard, too easy to predict, how the heart beats, maybe too foolish, for a broken heart to love, again and again, falling into love trap, not being able to climb out again, having no right to hold her, just laying astray, pouring all that's left, with myself to bear, what that of my actions.

as stars fills the sky, so does my heart fills you, soon till the extend, there ain't no place for anyting. and as each second pass, i long to see you, to see your smile, the way you look at me. whenever i look outside, i wish i could see you too, all is too near, yet still too far.

this is a story about a mouse... this mouse fell deeply in love with a girl, yet two worls divided them apart. Mouse may be independent not to concern what other rats think about, yet the most important of all is what the girl sense. mouse could not love the girl longer for she will leave soon to another place, a place too far for a mouse to travel. as each day passes, mouse tried so hard not to love the girl more, but the mouse is trap in that hole that is being dug deeper each second. the friendship between mouse and the girl became stronger, sharing their laughthers and past experience. they seem like the best of friends as evrything start to match. As their friendship grew stronger, unfortunately so did how mouse felt for her. Slowly the mouse could not take over its own feelings. Mouse put that mask to hide what truly lies underneath. mouse maintain its smile each day although its heart hurt tremendously not being able to let the girl know how it feels. to let the girl know how th

Am I really not the one? Maybe its cause we may not spent a day longer together here. Therefore you close heart from mine, Not to hurt both you and I, Not to endure that loss that will come upon us. Isn’t there any? In that space in your heart, Will I be kept particularly, Silently. I just wonder, Were there any seconds, You feel the same way too, The way I feel for you. Weren’t there anything u felt? Had I appeared suddenly on your mind? Do you scent the flower, I found in you. Have I not captivate you, Like how much you do to me, Am I just a player, A fool in those eyes of yours. Maybe you should not have known, Maybe I should kept quite, All the while just to keep, Emotion that rupture inside my heart. You should have not known, What we had before may loss, But not that sense I feel, Not how the way we relate. I won’t throw that friendship away, I still want us to be us, No close doors, Nor close hearts, Just conversation for hours. Don’t turn into another direction, Its just me ove

No games no rules, just a simple feeling, no tricks, no fools, just my heart beating. Too sudden this may be, but is it wrong? why does guilt surrounds me, how couldn't i step forward. I hope 4 nothing, i wish 4 nothing, i pray 4 nothing, just me being beside you. Is it that hard? to trust in me. Am i a liar? pretending to love you. Words may be decorated, but not my heart, nor how i care, it borns within the heart.

My curiosity, killed her trust, wanting to know more, made a fool of myself, unable to control that anxiety. the things she does, before she eats, before she sleeps, what is it she does, i just gotta know. what time is it? as she sips her coffee, as she plugs her earphones, as she goes out to work. the moment she bite her nails, she lets her hair down, and the music she listens, curious i am to be. where is she from? how she dresses her thoughts, her experiences before me, i would want to know. her favourite colour, how much she adores spicy food, her passion and dreams, to me i keep dearly as memories. how common our thoughts, days when even our shirt matches, how frequent our eyes may lock, just staring at each other, plainly. i can't help to notice...yet not all is noticeable...(like that pimple)...

As words create stir, building walls that blocks, not to understand, the true meaning. regret i always be, as my mouth trembles, the mind stops, the veins clog, and not a word comes out. As a day passes, that scar remain unheal, i can't close my eyes, just letting it be. All that is misunderstood, should be cleared, all thoughts that denies, be replace with truth. never i want, to fight nor hate, i just don't want, to endure what is loss.

Your plane awaits you, yet before it departs, hold my hands, let's walk through this valley, to the summit where the sun sets. you brought me back, to see things the way i use to see, to laugh out my heart's desire, to share the darkest secret. though a short while, yet you impact me, you're that diamond in the rough, shinning ever so brightly. 4 meng

As my mouth open to speak, words hide what the heart feels, creating that masked face, not letting you to know, from stone to dust, complicating my own thoughts, a straight road crooked, a metal steel bended, Afraid i am to be, shivering, tumbling to even speak, your thoughs become my concern, every word bears its mass, getting heavier, i just want to be me, as pure as myself, No shadow, no masks, i reveal myself to you, 4 meng

Just need someone to comfort, when i need her the most, someone that sees right through, without saying a word. to share both joy and sorrow, and each time we laugh, it comes out from the heart, to stay as the sweetest memory. too less the time, for me to know you more, yet just enough, for me to fall for you. time may be less, but each second, i will cherish, no more wasting time, its just you and me. I may not be the one, but just let me stay awhile, don't push me aside, i will just sit here silently. i won't take another step, till your arms open up, a space for me, in that heart of yours. 4 meng

May Autumn leaves fall, upon the ground we walk, as the end aproaches, Hand in hand we'll be together. Barriers being build, up higher and higher, as i lay asleep, never to find the solution. What has become of me, thoughts without thinking, words without meaning, actions without moving. to hurt and suffer, not only myself, but all, each concern weakens me, from hair tips, to toe nails. Becoming worthless, unable to stand on both feet, but only to crawl, on stones and thorns. 4 meng

Please don’t keep silent, No, don’t close your heart, Away from me, You’ll freeze my heart. Not another second, I could bear, Not another breath, I could gasp. Can’t you see? As my eyes look upon yours, The truth lay underneath, Not to look down upon. Never knew it could hurt, As much as a thousand knifes, Piercing right through my heart, Yet you keep it cool. Tears never roll down, Cheeks stay dry, Yet the heart bleeds, As words wouldn’t speak. Can’t take it anymore, Where is the end of it? Let the scars fade away, As time purify the guilt. 4 meng

time may be short, but memories last, if we have a chance, just to live this moment, would u take my hand, together we walk this road. i tried to be selfish, try not to pour, yet my heart could not resist, to know 'bout u more. why now? couldn't we met earlier? if i could choose, i choose not to know u. at least the pain i feel, will not exist in me. if i could choose, i wish u not to know, then, you'll not feel, the sorrow i feel. the thruth is i can't, i can't help it anymore, if this remain a secret in me, u will never know. we may never know, how stars light up in the sky, but all i know, is the joy we may have together. 4 Meng

would you? if i hold your hand, would you hold mine? if i stand by your side, would you walk away? if my heart hurts like this, would yours bleed as well? if this moment stop, would i be the one? if my mind is clear, why my heart isn't? if all is true, just where would we stand? if i say chit de, what will your heart say?

Feelings shut tight, compress not to show, confess not to say, condemn i turn to be. i try to be strong, change my heart from stone to diamond, yet it still shaters, in the midst of your presence. i want to be strong, not to fall deeper, yet no rope i could grab hold, but to fall even faster. as moment flies, times we spent, get lesser each day, and each minute is precious. time passes like water, that flows in a river, so let it freeze, and let seconds tick longer. 4 meng